The idea behind soul mates isn’t new. The oldest recorded reference is the legend of the Egyptian Gods Osiris and Isis. Plato wrote about soul mates in his philosophical text The Symposium around 385 BC. There’s a common theme – a search for the one person who can complete you.
That’s a mistake says Karen Black, MBA and creator of The Soulmate Site.“Perhaps we can forgive ancient writers with ancient ideas – probably quite modern for their time, but 2,300 years later, it’s time to wise up.
1. First love yourself
Most of our deepest desires can be satisfied from within, and love is absolutely one of those things. In order to find a soul that will become so deeply intertwined with ours, you have to have a certain self-awareness and understanding first.
Do you love yourself? You need to love yourself before anyone else will actually be able to love you.
2. What kind of partner you like
The most common experience: we just don’t know exactly who it is we’d like to spend our lives with. Everyone wants to be with a nice guy or woman, but who do you want to live with outside of these very broad descriptions? It’s okay to take your time and really get to know what it is that you want in a partner and figure out the best way to get the soul mate you truly want.
3. Very big expectations for potential partners
Your perfect lover might be a little bit too precise. If you find yourself wanting an artist but a landscape artist and he knows how to cook or she knows how to play instruments or you want a lover who plays in a band or maybe one with a masters degree and money – you’re overthinking all of it. Having too many expectations will push people away that you may be able to love with your full spirit.
4. You are desperate
Desperation is one of the worst qualities you can have when you hit the dating scene. You want to find your soul mate because, well, that’s just what you want. Badly. Sometimes this desperation can come from rejection. Other times it could be rooted in societal or familial pressures to find someone, shack up, marry and start a family. But don’t be desperate for a lover.
5. Afraid of being alone
If you want someone because you can’t stand being alone then it’s time for you to double down and spend some time alone. As much as you can. You need to learn how to be happy on your own. You should know how to love yourself and what it is that you’re looking for. Otherwise, failure is pretty much guaranteed.